![]() We have been conditioned to feel a certain way only through relational experiences. Pain can often make your oh-so horny car feel a little rusted, not because of the symptoms, but because of the way these symptoms have left you feeling. Instead, I want to highlight the fact that no matter how common symptoms of chronic or acute pain maybe, it’s unacceptable (and horrific) to propagate the idea that one ought to live with it and be uncomfortable, not experience pleasure, orgasms, and potential butterfly sensations in their bellies (or genitals) ever! As therapists, we may not be in the position to guarantee a pain-free life, but I can guarantee living a totally fulfilling and sexually satisfying, meaningful and pleasurable life. When I say it’s an overlooked feature, I do not mean to disregard pain. Pain is a far more common symptom/feature we see on a day-to-day basis, but the most overlooked one as well. ![]() Either way, it affects sexuality and intimacy for all, irrespective of the underlying cause, gender, age, sexual orientation, practices and expression. It can be physiological, anatomical, trauma-induced, pathological, emotional, and the list goes on. Chronic, acute or situational - pain can be manifested in different forms for different reasons. Pain is multi-faceted and can be especially challenging for many of us to navigate in the world of sexuality. It’s the year 2020 and we still find people settling for painful sexual encounters believing that it’s normal or inevitable. However, even with time, one aspect of sexuality that has been most experienced and oddly normalised is pain. The way it shapes, defines, influences, and enables connections is not an unknown fact. Sex and sexuality are expansive and dynamic, and undeniably pivotal to human expression, interaction, and intimacy. Sakshi Tickoo, Occupational Therapist, Personal Counselor
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